New Year, Same Old Bathroom

Yay, it's 2012! So many exciting things are happening this year! For instance, getting to marry my best friend =) I didn't really make any resolutions this year....but I'll try to blog a little more frequently. That being said...first post of the new year:

Sometime last year I blogged about the bathroom we use at work. Some of those problems have been taken care of (haven't really noticed the smell creeping out of the drain lately), but one thing in particular has really started to grate my nerves. The handicap button on the door.

Now, let me go ahead and give a disclaimer. If you are a dude and hold the bizarre belief that girls never fart or take a dump then you should stop reading (and you should probs stop being my friend). I mean, come on, everybody poops.

For those of you who are still with me, we have a handicap accessible bathroom. Which is totally fabulous, I'm all for equal opportunity. However, we seldom get handicap people in our building, in particular, using the bathroom on the third floor which requires two separate card swipes to be accessed. All of the contempt I hold is for the women that work on said floor.

Anyway, there's this handicap accessible button on both the outside and inside of the bathroom. Meaning, when that button is pushed, the door opens on its own and stays open for a few seconds before slowly shutting. A few times I have ran into this scenerio:

Me thinking to myself (as I clench and make my way to the bathroom): Wow, I really shouldn't have tested out my lactose intolerance by drinking that glass of milk with breakfast this morning. Great, boss is standing in hallway having a scientific discussion with two other people. I hope they're almost done and don't notice how long I'm about to be in here. Crap, someone is at the sink, they should be making their way out soon though. Yay, I made it to the stall, now only clench it together until this person leaves.

AND THAT ASSHOLE PUSHES THE HANDICAP BUTTON!

Me sweating: Oh God, my gut won't let me hold this together any longer....

Then all hell breaks loose and I can only hope that the conversation in the hallway had ended and people were no longer standing there.

I don't understand the thrill of using the button. While using it from the inside of the bathroom, it's just as dirty as if you had pushed the door with your hand. Is there something wrong with these people's arms? Are they just that lazy? Is the door too heavy for them and it causes them physical pain to open it? Regardless, it annoys me that several times a week, the hallway is subjected to whatever I've got going on in the bathroom.